the pink bold goodbye

>> Tuesday, December 30, 2008

An excerpt from my last year (2008) diary:January 01, 2008 9:18 AM- “it is new year morning and my sister is cleanin' up last night's mess. but i still feel like i am out of nowhere, or maybe, its just an end product of the tequila shots i got from new year's eve party.

no, i do not want to pretend anymore, it is new year anyways. it is just really funny how i come to realize things and be very broken the very next day. the day before i left the office for new year, he told me it should be over. and i just find it so unfair. Because it was just yesterday that i've realized how i like him. I now know the reason why despite my total disgust for computer games (it is really staying in the computer shops like zombies that I’m dreading most); I still stayed with him while he enjoys his dota stuff. Why I agreed on watching the very terrible golden compass which frankly, I find so uninteresting….”

To the guy who became the reason why I permed my hair and why I cut it so short, goodbye. I am now letting go without any trace of sadness, nor anger. The month of December made my days quite vulnerable. Its breezy climate reminds me of those days with you and the very same breeze reminded me of moving on, of finally letting go of all the ill feelings I’ve got from falling in love. (haha). Actually, the Puerto experience made me realize the superb minutes that I allowed myself to miss because of refusing to move on. And now, I am free. Au revoir.



>> Tuesday, December 9, 2008

November 15 - Aj invited us (Ava, Seen and me, well, the others were also invited but for some I don’t know reasons, they failed to come) for his pre-birthday treat! His birthday was supposed to be on the 19th but we decided to meet on weekend since it’s our only free time.

 We went to Bellini’s, an Italian resto recommended by Ava.

and yeah, she’s so heavenly right… place is just so perfect. and very romantic for me. i just so love the italian city inspired interior which has accents of framed photographs. lots of memories in there, Senor!

 pastas are excellent! and I love sprinkling parmesan. (I really love cheese!) Ava was so intrigued by the whole olives in the pasta that she inquisitively sliced it just to find out what’s inside.
 We’ve tried some sweet wine too. Yep. Pasta plus a glass of wine is always a good combination!
 The pizza (I forgot the name) was also good, it’s crispy and it really reminded me of the pita bread (I don’t know where to buy it nowadays) and cheese whiz days with Francine. Seen enjoyed the cheese, even the one that taste like blue cheese (as Ava described it, lasang amag) I haven’t tried their gelato – next time, I will!
i'll surely be back here. i just don't know when. Friendchipz..tara ulet dun!

Check them @ their Bellini FB account or immerse yourself to the real Italian experience
in their place at Cubao Expo, Cubao Quezon City. 


my dad once told me to choose the people i hang around with and sometimes i feel like i am failing him.

>> Friday, November 28, 2008

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.”

I got this quote this morning from a friend via email. And it reminds me of my father. I remember what my Dad always used to tell me when I was a kid – “You need to choose your friends”. (I have to tell you, my dad was such a strict person, you could count his words and they were so firm it’s gonna scare you but he always talked to me in the most sweetest way I could remember)) He was very particular with the kids I used to hang around with. He would ask about the parents of those kids. I used to hate it because I’m an advocator of anti-discrimination. I thought he was just being so judgmental- and to please him, I would just play alone in my mother’s garden talking to my imagined friends. What I didn’t realize then was that he just cares a lot and that he just wanted to protect me from careless and ruthless people. And I miss him. I miss him every time I feel betrayed. Every time I encounter despicable people. Every time I feel like running back home.

Happy Birthday, Dad! i may sometimes be stupid and crazy but I am always keeping your words in my head.


There’s something about Thursday

>> Monday, November 24, 2008

My Kuya invited me for a lunch date last Thursday. We haven’t seen each other since he got home last November 10 (I am guilty of being busy. Peace) so we spoiled ourselves with my favorite seafood cuisines at The Other Place. But what’s so surprising with Thursday lunch? It was the gift that he had for me. One of the items in my wish list – a laptop.

* aiza kept on stalking me with my laptop. hehe.


i am thinking about goodbye

>> Thursday, November 20, 2008

yesterday, i was browsing friendster and i got the chance to view his new uploaded picture. i know i don’t have any right to question that but somehow, there's a struck of sadness which i couldn't figure out. when i was walking back home, i was thinking of goodbye. i remember what aj told me. that i need to move on because the person i am thinking about day and night is never thinking about me. He has long moved out of my life and now doing a fine colorful world with his life while i am left in the flower covered abyss. Unfair. I am so unfair with myself. I remember how I crossed my line, forgetting about the reserved principle my parent taught me. I am still confused. I wanted to free myself and let go but I don’t want to be like some “sirang plaka” cyclically saying my goodbye. anyhows, I am still always looking forward for the time when the color of his shirt won’t bother me anymore.

And yeah, happy birthday to chipz aj. I’ll be blogging about his pre-celebration at Bellini’s once I get through this bothering contemplation. And to aiza last November 12 (I hope you enjoyed the birthday blue’s clues!!!) and, of course, thanks for treating me with my comfort food last night’s dinner. and for the novena that you lent me. I promise to give it back to you once everything is ok. thank yous!

and guess what's palying in my background. its over now by kyla. .. let me write some line..please dont ask me to pretend coz i know its over now.... . wait i need to turn it off now.


Enrollment 101

>> Monday, November 10, 2008

For the first time in my life I experienced what it is like to be a real student –TO ENROLL. The dilemma of enrolling is one thing that I never experienced during my college life because my sister was always there for me to do all my school stuff.

Never did it crop up in my mind that one day I’ll be one of those students irritably complaining about how long the line for the accounting office is and another line for the cashier and admission. The sickening hustle of running from one building to another. Hay, I was never really bothered by those then.

And here goes my enrollment for my masteral last October 31, yep just right after the tear-jerking news about UP. From 8 am to lunchtime, we waited for our turn to submit our TOR and get an admission form (yes, four hours just to pass the TOR and get a white piece of paper that we need to fill out) to be submitted to another building which took us another two hours of waiting for the dean’s signature. and rest is part of history. We’re number 86 (my number) and 85 (aiza’s). Everyone was already complaining about the long and seems to be never moving line. But hey, I never complained. Not a single sigh. Actually I enjoyed every line. Every walks, but I have to admit that it is really super tiring. Actually, around quarter to 4, my officemates saw me and Aiza waiting along the caterpillar line for the accounting office, they were so worried that they collected our forms and did the job for us. Thank you Atcheng, Miss Rose, and Miss Myh (for the chippy) and Sir Meynard, of course to sir Magtibay. We won’t finish it on time without your help.

Btw, first Saturday in school was fun (that was last November 8) Aiza and I took cool pictures together with our new notebooks! Yeah, we missed school so bad.


Beyond my poetic disgust to music

>> Thursday, November 6, 2008

Why is the aching so damn bad? That was the only question circling around my mind last night. Not the thought of you. Not the broken idea of a perfect family. Not even the lack of world peace. And not even Obama’s victory. There’s nothing in my mind but the aching coming from an unknown source. I felt so empty. Or maybe, I exactly know where it’s coming from but I am too scared to concede with the thoughts.

I hugged mogmog (my comfort piggy toy) and played “make it real” in my play list. I’ve noticed that I’ve been playing it over and over for the past three days. A thing so weird of me (Seen and Ate Grace knows about this) because I hate listening to music. I hate them whenever they turn on the stereo. And I hate times like this – whenever my mind bugged me about playing overly emotional song – which my ears largely deride. It’s not really the music that I hate. Actually, am an admirer of good music. But it’s the effect of the music that I avoid. It makes me too emotional. It turns me into a sentimental fool humming with its loneliness.

And talking about music, it always reminds me of you, Marnee. I love you for introducing me to your breed of music. I still enjoy them but I have to pause for a time. I miss you and our conversation about life.


to let go of something i've waited, not really for so long, but long enough to create waterworks

>> Saturday, November 1, 2008

One virtue that life taught me is the patience of waiting. Sometimes I am not so patient but I always have my faith with me. Faith is one thing that keeps me going during downtimes.

And I thought when you want something so bad and you believe, the universe will work hard to give it to you, but again, it failed me. When I was in my high school, I dreamt about studying in UP. It was my dream school because it always creates a name of sheerness but for some reasons I don’t remember, I failed to submit my application form. When I finished my collegiate course, I planned to take speech pathology, my dream course, one prominent reason why I liked it so much is because it’s only offered in UP, but because I’m already working, and feel like I already need to earn my own money, I was left with no option but to set it aside.

When I start working as a guidance counselor that requires a master in guidance counseling, I immediately found another chance to study in UP. Aiza and I agreed to pass our application forms and all the requirements they were asking. And we patiently waited. All day. All night. Waiting for the result. I always checked my e-mails, everyday, in hopes they already sent their sycophantic e-mail. I was so damn worried when my phone crashed for they might already be trying to contact us and of course, all the mails coming, I always wished there’s one for me and Aiza.

But nothing. We received nothing.
But still, we patiently waited.

We even had our second thoughts about enrolling in PNU (it’s our second option in case, were not accepted in UP, whichi thought needless, because I wanted to hold onto my faith with UP, but since were both girl scouts, we decided to have Plan B) since they said that once you enroll, the tuition fee will no longer be refundable. But we tried to hold on with our fingers crossed to the last moment.

Come October 29. The day before the last enrollment for PNU, we’re both still undecided to totally enroll the money that we had in the school, we still had our “what if the very next day, UP send us a mail” in our mind. Can we still refund the money?

But everything was answered that night. Around quarter to 12, and my sister reminded me of setting the alarm that I realized I had my phone off. Soon as I turned it on, I received numbers of messages but what shocked and numbed me most was the one coming from Aiza.

Yes. We were waiting for nothing.

All these times, we were just waiting for nothing.

No. neither we failed nor were we accepted. Our papers were not even assessed because one of the staff failed to forward our papers in the admission office. The sad part is, we were not even given the chance.

And yes, I cried.

No. its no ones fault, actually. Aiza and I made our bestest effort. Kuya Allan, for all I know made his fair share to submit our papers right on time. I haven’t thanked him yet but I will once we meet personally. The guy who failed to forward our papers, but I don’t think I can blame him. Everyone commits error, anyways.

Maybe, it’s my own irresponsibility. I was always so dependent. And I am still although I always try to deny it. Maybe, I was really effortless and God needs to see more effort coming from me.

And the very next day, I woke up early to fix myself and met Aiza and the others as if nothing happened between midnight and day break; although I know that we were both sleepless and troubled. WE still headed to PNU to experience the very first enrollment dilemma in our life. I am gonna make a separate article for that.

In the mid of my conversation with Aiza yesterday, I asked, what’s with UP that we find it so hard to enter their gate?

But why didn’t the universe answered me after all? Why didn’t God move the universe so we can finally enter our dream school? I remember what I texted Aiza that night, “it’s ok maybe it’s not really meant for us; we’ll try harder next sem. Smile.”

We made our effort, but maybe it’s not really something that’s right for us and for God to protect us, He moved the universe to save us.


Og Mandino's the greatest miracle in the world

>> Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This was forwarded to me by my sister, Ate Vangie, a year ago when i was exactly on the state of feeling so confused. Now, whenever i face downtime, i just run to my hard copy of this and read it over over until my last brainstring digest every word of encouragement. i am posting this for people to be inspired as much as it inspired my life.

Take counsel.

I hear your cry.

It passes through the darkness, filters through the clouds, mingles with starlight, and finds its way to my heart on the path of a sunbeam.

I have anguished over the cry of a hare choked in the noose of a snare, a sparrow tumbled from the nest of its mother, a child thrashing helplessly in a pond, and a son shredding his blood on a cross.

Know that I hear you, also. Be at peace. Be calm.

I bring thee relief for your sorrow for I know its cause ... and its cure.

You weep for all your childhood dreams that have vanished with the years.

You weep for all your self-esteem that has been corrupted by failure.

You weep for all your potential that has been bartered for security.

You weep for all your talent that has been wasted through misuse.

You look upon yourself with disgrace and you turn in terror from the image you see in the pool. Who is this mockery of humanity staring back at you with bloodless eyes of shame?

Where is the grace of your manner, the beauty of your figure, the quickness of your movement, the clarity of your mind, the brilliance of your tongue? Who stole your goods? Is the thief's identity known to you, as it is to me?

Once you placed your head in a pillow of grass in your father's field and looked up at a cathedral of clouds and knew that all the gold of Babylon would be yours in time.

Once you read from many books and wrote on many tablets, convinced beyond any doubt that all the wisdom of Solomon would be equaled and surpassed by you.

And the seasons would flow into years until lo, you would reign supreme in your own garden of Eden.

Dost thou remember who implanted those plans and dreams and seeds of hope within you?

You cannot.

You have no memory of that moment when first you emerged from your mother's womb and I placed my hand on your soft brow. And the secret I whispered in your small ear when I bestowed my blessings upon you?

Remember our secret?

You cannot.

The passing years have destroyed your recollection, for they have filled your mind with fear and doubt and anxiety and remorse and hate and there is no room for joyful memories where these beasts habitate.

Weep no more. I am with you ... and this moment is the dividing line of your life. All that has gone before is like unto no more than that time you slept within your mother's womb. What is past is dead. Let the dead bury the dead.

This day you return from the living dead.

This day, like unto Elijah with the widow's son, I stretch myself upon thee three times and you live again.

This day, like unto Elisha with the Shunammite's son, I put my mouth upon your mouth and my eyes upon your eyes and my hands upon your hands and your flesh is warm again.

This day, like unto Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus, I command you to come forth and you will walk from your cave of doom to begin a new life.

This is your birthday. This is your new date of birth. Your first life, like unto a play of the theatre, was only a rehearsal. This time the curtain is up. This time the world watches and waits to applaud. This time you will not fail.

Light your candles. Share your cake. Pour the wine. You have been reborn.

Like a butterfly from its chrysalis you will fly ... fly as high as you wish, and neither the wasps nor dragonflies nor mantids of mankind shall obstruct your mission or your search for the true riches of life.

Feel my hand upon thy head.

Attend to my wisdom.

Let me share with you, again, the secret you heard at your birth and forgot.

You are my greatest miracle.

You are the greatest miracle in the world.

Those were the first words you ever heard. Then you cried. They all cry ...

You did not believe me then ... and nothing has happened in the intervening years to correct your disbelief. For how could you be a miracle when you consider yourself a failure at the most menial of tasks? How can you be a miracle when you have little confidence in dealing with the most trivial of responsibilities? How can you be a miracle when you are shackled by debt and lie awake in torment over whence will come tomorrow's bread?

Enough. The milk that is spilled is sour. Yet, how many prophets, how many wise men, how many poets, how many artists, how many composers, how many scientists, how many philosophers and messengers have I sent with word of your divinity, your potential for godliness, and the secrets of achievement? How did you treat them?

Still I love you and I am with you now, through these words, to fulfill the prophet who announced that the Lord shall set his hand again, the second time, to recover the remnant of his people.

I have set my hand again.

This is the second time.

You are my remnant.

It is of no avail to ask, haven't you known, haven't you heard, hasn't it been told to you from the beginning; haven't you understood from the foundations of the earth?

You have not known; you have not heard; you have not understood.

You have been told that you are a divinity in disguise, a god playing a fool.

You have been told that you a special piece of work, noble in reason, infinite in faculties, express and admirable in form and moving, like an angel in action, like a god in apprehension.

You have been told that you are the salt of the earth.

You were given the secret even of moving mountains, of performing the impossible.

You believed no one. You burned your map to happiness, you abandoned your claim to peace of mind, you snuffed out the candles that had been placed along your destined path of glory, and then you stumbled, lost and frightened, in the darkness of futility and self-pity, until you fell into a hell of your own creation.

Then you cried and beat your breast and cursed the luck that had befallen you. You refused to accept the consequences of your own petty thoughts and lazy deeds and you searched for a scapegoat on which to blame your failure. How quickly you found one.

You blamed me!

You cried that your handicaps, your mediocrity, your lack of opportunity, your failures ... were the will of God!

You were wrong!

Let us take inventory. Let us, first, call a roll of your handicaps. For how can I ask you to build a new life lest you have the tools?

Are you blind? Does the sun rise and fall without your witness?

No. You can see ... and the hundred million receptors I have placed in your eyes enable you to enjoy the magic of a leaf, a snowflake, a pond, an eagle, a child, a cloud, a star, a rose, a rainbow ... and the look of love. Count one blessing.

Are you deaf? Can a baby laugh or cry without your attention?

No. You can hear ... and the twenty-four thousand fibers I have built in each of your ears vibrate to the wind in the trees, the tides on the rocks, the majesty of an opera, a robin's plea, children at play ... and the words I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you mute? Do your lips move and bring forth only spittle?

No. You can speak ... as can no other of my creatures, and your words can calm the angry, uplift the despondent, goad the quitter, cheer the unhappy, warm the lonely, praise the worthy, encourage the defeated, teach the ignorant ... and say I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you paralyzed? Does your helpless form despoil the land?

No. You can move. You are not a tree condemned to a small plot while the wind and world abuses you. You can stretch and run and dance and work, for within you I have designed five hundred muscles, two hundred bones, and seven miles of nerve fiber all synchronized by me to do your bidding. Count another blessing.

Are you unloved and unloving? Does loneliness engulf you, night and day?

No. No more. For now you know love's secret, that to receive love it must be given with no thought of its return. To love for fulfillment, satisfaction, or pride is no love. Love is a gift on which no return is demanded. Now you know that to love unselfishly is its own reward. And even should love not be returned it is not lost, for love not reciprocated will flow back to you and soften and purify your heart. Count another blessing. Count twice.

Is your heart stricken? Does it leak and strain to maintain your life?

No. Your heart is strong. Touch your chest and feel its rhythm, pulsating, hour after hour, day and night, thirty-six million beats each year, year after year, asleep or awake, pumping your blood through more than sixty thousand miles of veins, arteries, and tubing ... pumping more than six hundred thousand gallons each year. Man has never created such a machine. Count another blessing.

Are you diseased of skin? Do people turn in horror when you approach?

No. Your skin is clear and a marvel of creation, needing only that you tend it with soap and oil and brush and care. In time all steels will tarnish and rust, but not your skin. Eventually the strongest of metals will wear, with use, but not that layer that I have constructed around you. Constantly it renews itself, old cells replaced by new, just as the old you is now replaced by the new. Count another blessing.

Are your lungs befouled? Does your breath of life struggle to enter your body?

No. Your portholes to life support you even in the vilest of environments of your own making, and they labor always to filter life-giving oxygen through six hundred million pockets of folded flesh while they rid your body of gaseous wastes. Count another blessing.

Is your blood poisoned? Is it diluted with water and pus?

No. Within your five quarts of blood are twenty-two trillion blood cells and within each cell are millions of molecules and within each molecule is an atom oscillating at more than ten million times each second. Each second, two million of your blood cells die to be replaced by two million more in a resurrection that has continued since your first birth. As it has always been inside, so now it is on your outside. Count another blessing.

Are you feeble of mind? Can you no longer think for yourself?

No. Your brain is the most complex structure in the universe. I know. Within its three pounds are thirteen billion nerve cells, more than three times as many cells as there are people on your earth. To help you file away every perception, every sound, every taste, every smell, every action you have experienced since the day of your birth, I have implanted, within your cells, more than one thousand billion billion protein molecules. Every incident in your life is there waiting only your recall. And, to assist your brain in the control of your body I have dispersed, throughout your form, four million pain-sensitive structures, five hundred thousand touch detectors, and more than two hundred thousand temperature detectors. No nation's gold is better protected than you. None of your ancient wonders are greater than you.

You are my finest creation.

Within you is enough atomic energy to destroy any of the world's great cities ... and rebuild it.

Are you poor? Is there no gold or silver in your purse?

No. You are rich! Together we have just counted your wealth. Study the list. Count them again. Tally your assets!

Why have you betrayed yourself? Why have you cried that all the blessings of humanity were removed from you? Why did you deceive yourself that you were powerless to change your life? Are you without talent, senses, abilities, pleasures, instincts, sensations, and pride? Are you without hope? Why do you cringe in the shadows, a giant defeated, awaiting only sympathetic transport into the welcome void and dampness of hell?

You have so much. Your blessings overflow your cup ... and you have been unmindful of them, like a child spoiled in luxury, since I have bestowed them upon you with generosity and regularity.

Answer me.

Answer yourself.

What rich man, old and sick, feeble and helpless, would not exchange all the gold in his vault for the blessings you have treated so lightly.

Know then the first secret to happiness and success - that you possess, even now, every blessing necessary to achieve great glory. They are your treasure, your tools with which to build, starting today, the foundation for a new and better life.

Therefore, I say unto you, count your blessings and know that you already are my greatest creation. This is the first law you must obey in order to perform the greatest miracle in the world, the return of your humanity from living death.

And be grateful for your lessons learned in poverty. For he is not poor who has little; only he that desires much ... and true security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without.

Where are the handicaps that produced your failure? They existed only in your mind.

Count your blessings.

And the second law is like unto the first. Proclaim your rarity.

You had condemned yourself to a potter's field, and there you lay, unable to forgive your own failure, destroying yourself with self-hate, self-incrimination, and revulsion at your crimes against yourself and others.

Are you not perplexed?

Do you not wonder why I am able to forgive your failures, your transgressions, your pitiful demeanor ... when you cannot forgive yourself?

I address you now, for three reasons. You need me. You are not one of a herd heading for destruction in a gray mass of mediocrity. And ... you are a great rarity.

Consider a painting by Rembrandt or a bronze by Degas or a violin by Stradivarius or a play by Shakespeare. They have great value for two reasons: their creators were masters and they are few in number. Yet there are more than one of each of these.

On that reasoning you are the most valuable treasure on the face of the earth, for you know who created you and there is only one of you.

Never, in all the seventy billion humans who have walked this planet since the beginning of time has there been anyone exactly like you.

Never, until the end of time, will there be another such as you.

You have shown no knowledge or appreciation of your uniqueness.

Yet, you are the rarest thing in the world.

From your father, in his moment of supreme love, flowed countless seeds of love, more than four hundred million in number. All of them, as they swam within your mother, gave up the ghost and died. All except one! You.

You alone persevered within the loving warmth of your mother's body, searching for your other half, a single cell from your mother so small that more than two million would be necessary to fill an acorn shell. Yet, despite impossible odds, in that vast ocean of darkness and disaster, you persevered, found that infinitesimal cell, joined with it, and began a new life. Your life.

You arrived, bringing with you, as does every child, the message that I was not yet discouraged of man. Two cells now united in a miracle. Two cells, each containing twenty-three chromosomes and within each chromosome hundreds of genes, which would govern every characteristic about you, from the color of your eyes to the charm of your manner, to the size of your brain.

With all the combinations at my command, beginning with that single sperm from your father's four hundred million, through the hundreds of genes in each of the chromosomes from your mother and father, I could have created three hundred thousand billion humans, each different from the other.

But who did I bring forth?

You! One of a kind. Rarest of the rare. A priceless treasure, possessed of qualities in mind and speech and movement and appearance and actions as no other who has ever lived, lives, or shall live.

Why have you valued yourself in pennies when you are worth a king's ransom?

Why did you listen to those who demeaned you ... and far worse, why did you believe them?

Take counsel. No longer hide your rarity in the dark. Bring it forth. Show the world. Strive not to walk as your brother walks, nor talk as your leader talks, nor labor as do the mediocre. Never do as another. Never imitate. For how do you know that you may not imitate evil; and he who imitates evil always goes beyond the example set, while he who imitates what is good always falls short. Imitate no one. Be yourself. Show your rarity to the world and they will shower you with gold. This then is the second law.

Proclaim your rarity.

And now you have received two laws.

Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity!

You have no handicaps. You are not mediocre.

You nod. You force a smile. You admit your self-deception.

What of your next complaint? Opportunity never seeks thee?

Take counsel and it shall come to pass, for now I give you the law of success in every venture. Many centuries ago this law was given to your forefathers from a mountain top. Some heeded the law and lo, their life was filled with the fruit of happiness, accomplishment, gold, and peace of mind. Most listened not, for they sought magic means, devious routes, or waited for the devil called luck to deliver to them the riches of life. They waited in vain ... just as you waited, and then they wept, blaming their lack of fortune.

The law is simple. Young or old, pauper or king, white or black, male or female ... all can use the secret to their advantage; for all the rules and speeches and scriptures of success and how to attain it, only one method has never failed ... whomsoever shall compel ye to go with him one mile ... go with him two.

This then is the third law ... the secret that will produce riches and acclaim beyond your dreams. Go another mile!

The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be. This is a habit followed by all successful people since the beginning of time. Therefore I saith the surest way to doom yourself to mediocrity is to perform only the work for which you are paid.

Think not ye are being cheated if you deliver more than the silver you receive. For there is a pendulum to all life and the sweat you deliver, if not rewarded today, will swing back tomorrow, tenfold. The mediocre never goes another mile, for why should he cheat himself, he thinks. But you are not mediocre. To go another mile is a privilege you must appropriate by your own initiative. You cannot, you must not avoid it. Neglect it, do only as little as the others, and the responsibility for your failure is yours alone.

You can no more render service without receiving just compensation than you can withhold the rendering of it without suffering the loss of reward. Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, these cannot be separated. The effect already blooms in the cause, the end pre-exists in the means, and the fruit is always in the seed.

Go another mile.

Concern yourself not, should you serve an ungrateful master. Serve him more.

And instead of him, let it be me who is in your debt, for then you will know that every minute, every stroke of extra service will be repaid. And worry not, should your reward not come soon. For the longer payment is withheld, the better for you ... and compound interest on compound interest is this law's greatest benefit.

You cannot command success, you can only deserve it ... and now you know the great secret necessary in order to merit its rare reward.

Go another mile!

Where is this field whence you cried there was no opportunity? Look! Look around thee. See, where only yesterday you wallowed on the refuse of self-pity, you now walk tall on a carpet of gold. Nothing has changed ... except you, but you are everything.

You are my greatest miracle.

You are the greatest miracle in the world.

And now the laws of happiness and success are three.

Count your blessings! Proclaim your rarity! Go another mile!

Be patient with your progress. To count your blessings with gratitude, to proclaim your rarity with pride, to go an extra mile and then another, these acts are not accomplished in the blinking of an eye. Yet, that which you acquire with most difficulty you retain the longest; as those who have earned a fortune are more careful of it than those by whom it was inherited.

And fear not as you enter your new life. Every noble acquisition is attended with its risks. He who fears to encounter the one must not expect to obtain the other. Now you know you are a miracle. And there is no fear in a miracle.

Be proud. You are not the momentary whim of a careless creator experimenting in the laboratory of life. You are not a slave of forces that you cannot comprehend. You are a free manifestation of no force but mine, of no love but mine. You were made with a purpose.

Feel my hand. Hear my words.

You need me ... and I need you.

We have a world to rebuild ... and if it requireth a miracle what is that to us? We are both miracles and now we have each other.

Never have I lost faith in you since that day when I first spun you from a giant wave and tossed you helplessly on the sands. As you measure time that was more than five hundred million years ago. There were many models, many shapes, many sizes, before I reached perfection in you more than thirty thousand years ago. I have made no further effort to improve on you in all these years.

For how could one improve on a miracle? You were a marvel to behold and I was pleased. I gave you this world and dominion over it. Then, to enable you to reach your full potential I placed my hand upon you, once more, and endowed you with powers unknown to any other creature in the universe, even unto this day.

I gave you the power to think.I gave you the power to love.I gave you the power to will.I gave you the power to laugh.I gave you the power to imagine.I gave you the power to create.I gave you the power to plan.I gave you the power to speak.I gave you the power to pray.I gave you the power to heal.

My pride in you knew no bounds. You were my ultimate creation, my greatest miracle. A complete living being. One who can adjust to any climate, any hardship, any challenge. One who can manage his own destiny without any interference from me. One who can translate a sensation or perception, not by instinct, but by thought and deliberation into whatever action is best for himself and all humanity.

Thus we come to the fourth law of success and happiness ... for I gave you one more power, a power so great that not even my angels possess it.

I gave you ... the power to choose.

With this gift I placed you even above my angels ... for angels are not free to choose sin. I gave you complete control over your destiny. I told you to determine, for yourself, your own nature in accordance with your own free will. Neither heavenly nor earthly in nature, you were free to fashion yourself in whatever form you preferred. You had the power to choose to degenerate into the lowest forms of life, but you also had the power, out of your soul's judgment, to be reborn into the higher forms, which are divine.

I have never withdrawn your great power, the power to choose.

What have you done with this tremendous force? Look at yourself. Think of the choices you have made in your life and recall, now, those bitter moments when you would fall to your knees if only you had the opportunity to choose again.

What is past is past ... and now you know the fourth great law of happiness and success ... Use wisely, your power of choice.

Choose to love ... rather than hate.Choose to laugh ... rather than cry.Choose to create ... rather than destroy.Choose to persevere ... rather than quit.Choose to praise ... rather than gossip.Choose to heal ... rather than wound.Choose to give ... rather than steal.Choose to act ... rather than procrastinate.Choose to grow ... rather than rot.Choose to pray ... rather than curse.Choose to live ... rather than die.

Now you know that your misfortunes were not my will, for all power was vested in you, and the accumulation of deeds and thoughts which placed you on the refuse of humanity were your doing, not mine. My gifts of power were too large for your small nature. Now you have grown tall and wise and the fruits of the land will be yours.

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.

You are capable of great wonders. Your potential is unlimited. Who else, among my creatures, has mastered fire? Who else, among my creatures, has conquered gravity, has pierced the heavens, has conquered disease and pestilence and drought?

Never demean yourself again!

Never settle for the crumbs of life!

Never hide your talents, from this day hence!

Remember the child who says, "when I am big boy." But what is that? For the big boy says. "when I grow up." And then the grown up, he says, "when I am wed." But to be wed, what is that, after all? The thought then changes to "when I retire." And then, retirement comes, and he looks back over it and somehow he has missed it all and it is gone.

Enjoy this day, today ... and tomorrow, tomorrow.

You have performed the greatest miracle in the world.

You have returned from a living death.

You will feel self-pity no more and each new day will be a challenge and a joy.

You have been born again ... but just as before, you can choose failure and despair or success and happiness. The choice is yours. The choice is exclusively yours. I can only watch, as before ... in pride ... or sorrow.

Remember, then, the four laws of happiness and success.

Count your blessings. Proclaim your rarity. Go another mile. Use wisely your power of choice. And one more, to fulfill the other four. Do all things with love ... love for yourself, love for all others, and love for me.

Wipe away your tears. Reach out, grasp my hand, and stand straight.

Let me cut the grave cloths that have bound you.

This day you have been notified.



an open letter to my mother

>> Monday, October 13, 2008

dear nay, 
actually, i do not know why i am writing this letter, when i already greeted you with a birthday cake this morning, but maybe, that's not enough. i really do not know where to start, In case you don’t know, i'm never really used to getting mushy when it comes to showing emotions. .

i had hundreds of questions running in my head when i was a kid, but never did i dare to ask any question , don't worry i wont ask anymore. i now do understand things which a fourth grader wont understand then. now, i feel so sorry for those wars i waged against you. For those sleepless nights that i made you think about what made me into a cruel creature who doesn’t seem to care about anyone but myself. For all those times that i’ve caused you pain. Of course, those were all unintentional. I am most thankful to God for making me realize things. I am much thankful to Him for having you as my mother. You are the most patient woman i've ever met. i do not know how you were able to handle everything, maybe, you are a superwoman, that after all the storms and stuff, you were still able to surpass everything. and that made me appreciate you more. Actually, there's no exact word i know to crow about how marvelous it is to have you as my mother, and never had there been a single moment in my life that i thought of having somebody else to stand as my mom. and, i'll be forever thankful to God for giving you to me, to us.

Happy birthday.

i'll be your forever angel,



An interview with a WITCH

>> Monday, September 15, 2008

Describe Gladi's typical day: My day starts at 6:30. I grab my thank you stone and take the shower. I should be in the office before 8 or 9. eat my breakfast, check conrado de quiros blog. work. work. work until 5. I usually eat dinner with friends, or sometimes if i feel like cooking, i do cook at home. by 10, i'm already ready to bed.

What is your daily uniform: It depends on the mood or on what i have to do for that day. But i'm most comfortable with jeans and a polo shirt.

What do you wear on dressy occassion? A dress, or a pair of jeans matched with a nice top, and of course, stilletos!

What is you Shoe/Bag Philosophy? When i was in college, i used to choose fashion over comfort so the higher , the better. But now i only reserve them for dressy occasion , or just keep them as collections. I now go for comfy pair of flats or flip flops. I also love my happy feet, I never get tired wearing 'em. i'm really choosy when it comes to bags. I'm very careful on choosing whichbag goes with an outfit. A nice bag can easily make an outfit while the wrong one will ruin the look in an instant.

Your favorite scent? At daytime, i wear either benetton cold or lacoste (smells so clean), i also like J&J powder mist cologne. During night-out, i love using my escada or amythyst by bvlgari. it feels so elegant. 
Favorite beauty products: Although, i'm not really fond of wearing make-up but i stick with neutrogena beauty products. I love their UV compact and trust their moisturizerand toner. i also use their facial foam.When i feel like putting somethiong pink on my face , i use body shop's cheek and lip tint.

Any beauty tips: Wash your face. Tone up and moisturize. Expoliate once a week. Use sunblock , especially when you're exposing your skin to too much sunlight. Have your hair trimmed once a month, just shampoo your hair everyother day, use conditioner in between. Use clarifying shampoo once a week. Use hair moisturizer , i recommend dove's hair moisturizer (it smells so good) Eat fruits and have plenty of water.

Favorite accessory:My favorite is my vintage jade ring with two stones around it. I feel that its my lucky charm.

Your best bargain: My nine west stilettos which i just bought for half its price!
What was the last thing that you bought? neutrogena lotion.
What are your travel must have: A good book. My red diary (from ava) , a pair of comfy shoes, jacket, atm card, sunglasses( i love the big ones) my beauty products ( half of which i don't really use). med kit.

Favorite item: My folded and hung bag. I can put everything that i'll be needing for the day , and some unnecessary stuff.

What do you do to relax: Head to the beach. I go to the beach thrice a year, A thing that i missed when i was working in a call center.

Favorite food: I love pasta in white sauce and lots of cheese, i also love it in fresh tomatoes. I always crave for seafoods (it's my comfort food)

Most exotic food you've ever tasted: Sizzling balot from Vivo. Now, i really find it too cruel eating such thing, its like i killed the duck!

What do you collect: good books, and shoes.

What are you currently reading: Kaleidoscope, and i'm still reading the secret ( a book given to me by AJ, ).it's a very optimistic book that i find hard to handle. I feel that its the counterpart of my personality, so i always have to make pauses.

You can't live without....: My family. Pens and papers.I'll wither the day manufacturers sans producing these items.

The hardest thing one can ever learn is...: Love. Love, love, LOVE!


the nostalgic mood of a witch named gladi

>> Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Right after my college graduation, i moved to Manila, and stayed there for a year. Being in a strange place gave me a different taste of life. No more late wake ups. No more morning tantrums. No more soberly nights. No more afternoon cups of coffee and lemon tea. No more happy go lucky kind of life. No more writing to the last brain string, ye, my pen had experienced a severe famishment.

But having been away from home and having acquired total freedom and independency dipped my sleepy thought to the real color of life. With real rejection. With real disappointment. With real bitterness and with a different definition of happiness. Out of my comfort zone, i've earned time to reflect on those things i have but haven’t had the slightest care to notice then. I've love my family more than ever. I am more appreciative and i owe this all to those people and experiences that shared my vicissitudes during my “homesick days”. But as what i always believe, there is always goodbye (and that's the hardest part for during that time, i didnt know whether i wanted to really go back to my own made up world or to stay in the real world and continue to discover things. For some reasons. i felt like while i'm being pulled back to my comfort zone, the real world was also pushing me back and i was the only one fighting against it, adn i gave up. i went home and decided to continue living in the safe side of the world. anyways, i've list down people and stuff that kept on reminding me about the lessons i've gained during my stay in the real strange world. Of the moments, i’ve enjoyed. and for the bruises that made me cry.

etelecare.between busrides and baclaran church. erikson and fina (miss you. miss you. miss you) 119. jeff (thank you for a week of being patient with me) LPET days. wave 166A: lani.jo.KUYA RAE.kuya jim, chu. linj (i do miss our gel and plantsahan sessions) rolando. k'bert. neeson. PJ. dan. cite for breaking the company rule: do not use the internet for non-business related sites. tresmarias and mario. something fishy's eat all you can. SEEN (i miss our dream-upon-a-star moods and everything about you) TEAM OSIRIS. corky.mike.tiyobaki.koran TL jenny. kuyajustin.Anto.ALVIN. corky's crack. AVA and all our food tripping. service tag. escalation. L2. Chowking. Icite(whatever!) Fingerscan. AUX2. 29th Floor.SOiC Jen. KEM (ang matabang bully na bata). AJ (take it easy!) kuya li. kuya wei (Honda moments). Kuya Jover (JUVER!!!!) ANETTE. spam. spam. spam. rekanism. Service elevator. pantry.of my first ever taste of puto bungbong (thanks GAbo). jeepney rides. OUTlook. soic dova (stop the bleeding) Mozilla. meebo. yung ice tea sa pantry. ARR.vendo machine. appreciation. kuya justin's this is the bestest amplaya i've ever tasted line. OT. yellocab and KFc blues. mahesh fever.of moving on. dressdown. nailcuttingsession \m/. Kuya Ocop. kuya denver .L2 Domz! ALt TAB. pedestrian lane. kwek kwek and calamares( thank you to those who taught me bout this stuff) taxi rides and ye, taxi room (?) (it’s still a mystery to me how it looks like) tiangge moments. tell me your name by jose mari chan alarm tone. shawarma rice. Evermall. Overpass. letting go and goodbyes.

Did i miss a thing?

anyway,i can't thank them enough. and it was only during my last days in the office that i discovered the real meaning of saying thank you. For you guys, thank you for everything and in case I’ll get such Alzheimer’s in the future, do remind me that I have a blog where I wrote down everything.


our last phone call

>> Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wednesday morning. And again, I am aching with the longing
The vulnerability kills.
I feel like I am losing my sanity inch by inch.

For how many times my fingers dialed your so familiar number
And for how many times I deleted it right before pressing the ok button
I do not know

For how long I have recited the lines
The most perfect lines. The most faultless tone.The very right words
My mind can no longer take grasp of

Six rings
And how I finally collected all the strengths
To say my first word

And how your voice, like thunderstorm told me how busy you are
How your sigh sliced me through
and finally made me realized
you’re no longer there for me…

and suddenly, I felt like a lost child


22 things to do before the year ends

>> Friday, January 4, 2008

1. keep a diary.
2. go to church.
3. never be LATE, again.
4. give time to read the bible and meditate.
5. forget everything about fortune telling and love potions.
6. write a feel good story before the year ends.
7. start SAVING.
8. no more impulsive buying.
9. more time for my FAMILY.
10. discover a new scent.
11. cry once in a while (like nobody's watching. mourn for one day. let go of all the ill feelings).
12. no more PRETENDING. (say the truth . feel free. hate the word PREVARICATION.)
13. clean my inbox.
14. watch a good movie.
15. learn how to budget.
16. write a letter to my long lost good friends.
17. wear a rubber shoes.
18. try a new sport (maybe, tennis?).
19. say SORRY.
20. do something about my teeth ( promise, nomore bugs bunny look!)
21. fall inlove (haha and more laughs).
22. Travel.


one hour before new year's eve

>> Tuesday, January 1, 2008

i just find it so funny to realize things and be very broken the very next day.

no time for senti modes , need to dress up my tuna salad.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Blog template by simplyfabulousbloggertemplates.com

Back to TOP