our last phone call

Wednesday morning. And again, I am aching with the longing
The vulnerability kills.
I feel like I am losing my sanity inch by inch.

For how many times my fingers dialed your so familiar number
And for how many times I deleted it right before pressing the ok button
I do not know

For how long I have recited the lines
The most perfect lines. The most faultless tone.The very right words
My mind can no longer take grasp of

Six rings
And how I finally collected all the strengths
To say my first word

And how your voice, like thunderstorm told me how busy you are
How your sigh sliced me through
and finally made me realized
you’re no longer there for me…


and suddenly, I felt like a lost child