BEFORE FEBRUARY ENDS.

(written 3 years ago, February, 2007)

And it may take some time to patch me up inside. But i can’t take it so I run away and hide…

Thirty five minutes right after midnight: yes, i am humming my fave line, a thing i love doing inside my most loved place in this entirely scary-funny-amazing planet – (guess where?). The moment i press the doorknob’s lock, i feel that i am separated from the harsh reality of the world outside. i find myself a light year away from my fears. i find peace. it gives me a sense of security to dig the deepest part of my humanity, and the fact that i am not just an ordinary specimen of this material world. it is the place, where i come to fashion my finest craft. i can be a dancer. A rock star. A stage actress being applauded by people who i truly love. i sing like there’s no tomorrow. i create the most impossible. i am extra-ordinary. i am loved. i am a princess. For a moment, i see the dead right ME in the dampened mirror. The only place, where i confess my weaknesses, my elucidation. For i know no one’s gonna see me. No eyes will judge me. Nobody can tell me that i am wrong. Here, i AM ALWAYS RIGHT. i cry. i scream. At times, i would hurt myself with a shampoo container, and no one would dare say that i am out of my sanity. i would wipe each piece of marbled tiles. Make it clean, secure all the dirt’s out until it’s so white again, leaving not a single stain. i would bump my head. Feel its coldness. Whimper like a lost child. Play with the water. Embrace myself, until i am all-dry. Sigh in the deepest grin. Close my eyes for a second and unlock myself back to reality. Smell the air fume that nauseate my nostrils, blow dry my hair; spray some Elizabeth Arden green tea from my sister’s closet. Pretend i am happy, that i am contented. Believe that i know what love is. Start deeming again in to fairytales. i am an angel who lost my wings and is saved by a broomstick. i am a witch. And i hate eating apple. by the way, i am in love with deep violet.

well, actually, i guess that  three years gave bundles of inevitable changes. 
the common question then was: WHO'S DEEP VIOLET?
 the question now is: AM I HAPPY WITH WHAT I AM TODAY?

Read more...

ANTI-DEPRESSION CONVENTION-PLUS-PLATES OF OLD GOOD SPAGHETTI-PLUS-SISTER'SBDAYBASH-SLASH-VALENTINE'SPARTY.

:last FEBRUARY 13 -14, 2010:

sorry for the delayed posting.

8am - 4pm:  2nd ICCS Convention @ the AFP theater.

last year, it was just me and aiza and i am overly happy that atcheng and jonjon were able to join this time. though, i must say that i'm still inlove with the 1st ICCS convention.

♥

4pm - 6:30 THE OLD SPAGHETTI HOUSE @ LIBIS

the convention finished earlier than expected and so we agreed to grab a quick pasta experience.

yeeee. i super love pasta with lotsa cheese!!!!

8PM: BIRTHDAY SURPRISE FOR ATE GRACE THAT LASTED 'TIL 5AM.

we surprised ate grace for her nth (giggles) birthday. it was supposed to be a black and red surprise party with all gifts wrapped in black and ribboned in red. together with black and red balloons and boys pretending to be macho dancers in a box biting a stem of rose. haha.  but not everyone supported the idea. though, ENJOY PA DIN.

Read more...

"i am a scientist. i don't believe in fairy tales". – Grace, Avatar

I am in a bottomless gratefulness to James Cameron for making me fall into a deep feeling of adoration amidst my silent odium to the love month. Yes, it was just last feb 1 that I was able to grab a copy of this much talked-about film.

The Pope criticized AVATAR for the promotion of worshiping nature instead of religion. Well, I guess the message that the film wants to instill in us is the infinite love that we should give to the home given to us by the ALMIGHTY GOD, our earth. c'mon, people, let's STOP DESTROYING OUR PLANET because we ARE JUST DESTROYING OURSELVES. And of course, incessantly loving our self and the others and being an avid fan of acceptance and trust. Of loving the things that we have, and the things we don’t have.


I hope we can always keep the spirit of the true quintessence of love and have the heart to see beauty in everything that exists in this incredible universe.


By the way, let me repost this one from a blog (http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/)where I often make tambay whenever my brain salivates from beautiful phrases: (warning: CHEESY)

You are my science.

You make me believe in the atoms in your skin.

Now I believe in the chemistry in our kiss.

And now I believe in the molecules that make up love.

You are my science. I am a scientist.

IHOPEICANSEEYOU.ITRULYHOPETHATWECANBOTHSEEEACHOTHER.

Read more...