saving private gladi

(sometime in october) 

i do not know what time it is. one of the rarest moments in my daily life. the wall clock stopped ticking. i am too lazy to check my mobile phone’s time. and even more sluggish to turn the tv on to check the current news. i wanted to feel the luxury of being lost in space, even for this one stolen evening.

if only i could tear all these out, maybe i’m a better person. 

For the first time since this orange sofa set came in our house, it’s only now that i finally found a comfortable position in its corner. Earlier, i was holding a blue book i purchased from a booksale months ago, longing for a day to come that i can finally have the appetite to reach out for it and make a good jumpstart in my life. Hours ago, there was the noisy music from the neighbor’s playlist. But now, there’s nothing. No sound at all. Only the deep sound of the night and the droplets of water from the bathroom’s silly faucet.

and i feel like crying. Just cry. Maybe an attempt to stir away the faked headache.

and i hope i never heard lies. I hope i never met some people so i wont always end up bombarding my brain to forget. And i hope erasing wont take so much pride, pain and headache. i hope some people never pushed me to my very limit, so i can still hope to have them back. I hope i never have to leave whenever i get myself damn hurt. 

But maybe, that’s the only way i know. and God knows what my heart desires, to atleast save a piece of myself. And to start from there. Goodluck to me.