it kills that i just watched you as you slowly walked away.

>> Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I miss my father. And thinking about how nice it would feel if I could also busy myself thinking of the most excellent gift i could give him for father’s day.

I miss him, and thinking what he would tell me if I tell him that I think I am in love, and again, broken hearted.

I miss him, and thinking what he would do if I tell him that someone bullied me, and some girls talked nasty things about me, that I was backstabbed , and I was so angry.

I miss him, and thinking how nice it would be if I would have the chance to massage his aching feet again, and I would talk about how the day was, what I bought from Ka Pisi, the games I played, what I want to do when I grow up.

I miss him, and thinking what he would say, now that I am already working, getting enough salary to buy him a perfume, though not as what he expected me to be, wearing my office uniform and high-heeled shoes.

I miss him, and thinking about the comfort I would receive if I tell him that I do not know how it is to trust again. That I am no longer the sweet girl who hides his slippers in the morning so I know where to get it in the afternoon when he comes back home.

I miss him, and will continue to miss him every time the cruel world reminds me that, no matter how envious I become whenever I see a complete happy family, I will never have a father that I could run to.

Dad, I miss making coffee for you. really, i do.


aiza Sunday, June 21, 2009 12:35:00 AM  

no one really walks away from our lives. people never really leave. their roles just change.

angels do exist, ate gladi. and you are surely making him the happiest. ;)

freefall Wednesday, August 05, 2009 6:41:00 PM  

thank you, aiz! and, yea, i hope i am.

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this is not about who i am.
neither does it matter who you are.
these are the pieces of being FREE.

of loving and being loved
of believing
in fairytales and paradise and dragonflies
and of not believing.
of keeping our FAITH.
of rainbow colored sky and black and white
and everything in between.

thank yous.
we will see each other soon.

hugs and hundreds of ♥,

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